Betrothal of Jesus: Surprising New Perspective

I am amazed at how many scriptures speak about Jesus as the bridegroom and his betrothal to the church.

I wanted to learn more and better understand Jesus’s teachings. Jesus often used marriage to symbolize his relationship with the church. He also used it to symbolize his relationship with the people of Israel. So, I started studying Ancient marriage customs.

Here are some astonishing things I learned.

In ancient times, the word “Lord” was the sane word for “husband.” So, when we read the word “Lord” in the scriptures, the word “husband” can be substituted.

That was the first of many discoveries.

And I will betroth thee unto me forever. I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, judgment, loving-kindness, and mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord. (Hosea 2:19-20)

Understanding ancient marriage rituals helped me better understand my covenant with Jesus.

Mikvah (Bridegroom is Baptized)

As part of the betrothal ceremony, the bride and groom underwent ritual immersion in a pool of water. This act symbolized spiritual and physical purification. It prepared them before entering the marriage covenant.

Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. (Mat 3:13)

So, Jesus needed to be baptized (Mikvah) as the first step to becoming the Bridegroom. As the future bride, we, too, need to be baptized.

That, for me, became a different way of looking at Baptism

The Kiddushin (Betrothal of the Bridegroom)

At the betrothal ceremony, the bride was set apart (Kiddushin). She was to have eyes only for her beloved groom. The betrothal was a legally binding contract that could only be dissolved by death or a written divorce.  That is why Joseph was called Mary’s husband, even though she was only what we would consider engaged.

 Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately. (Mathew 1:19)

The betrothal agreement was formalized between the bride’s father and the groom’s father. Then, the groom would knock on the bride’s door. If the bride accepted the proposal, she would open the door. The couple would then share bread and wine. This signified their commitment to each other.

This makes me think of communion when we commit ourselves to Christ with bread and wine.

 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him. I will sup with him, and he with me. (Rev 3:20)

 Ketubah (The Contract)

The ketubah was a legal document signed by both the bride and bridegroom. It also required two witnesses. The bride’s family received one copy. Another copy was given to the magistrate. A third copy was given to the bride.

The ketubah outlined the groom’s duties, typically including providing food, clothing, and shelter for his bride. It also specified his pledge to ransom his bride if she were captured by an enemy. The bride, in turn, committed to be loyal and faithful to her Bridegroom.

Marriage was very important in ancient Israel. It was so significant that the terms of the betrothal were written in detail. The contract (ketubah) was usually written inside a Jerusalem window, surrounded by beautiful artwork. It was often framed and kept in the home, sometimes becoming a family heirloom.

Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. (Hebrews 9:12)

Even when the enemy of our soul has led us away captive, Jesus agrees to redeem us. The Bridegroom loves his bride.

Mohar and Mattan (Bride Price)

Women were highly valued in Jewish culture. The Mohar was paid to the bride’s father as compensation for the loss of his daughter. She was a cherished member of his household. The bride price could be paid in clothing, jewelry, money, animals, or service.

Abraham’s servant gave gifts to Rebekah’s father for the Mohar (Gen 24:53). Jacob gave Rachael’s brother seven years of service for the Mahar, first for Leah and then for Rachael. (Gen 29:20).

The Mattan was a betrothal gift given directly to the bride. She often sewed coins into her headdress, like an engagement ring, to show she was married. Jesus and his audience understood the significance of the coin in this parable differently than we do.

 What woman having ten pieces of silver, if she loses one piece? Doth she not light a candle, sweep the house, and seek diligently till she finds it?

 When she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together. She says, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.   (Luke 15:8-9) 

The gift of the Holy Ghost is the promised Mattan when we covenant with Jesus. If we ever lose it, we try very hard to regain it.

Israel Symbolizes the Bride

Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people. All the earth is mine. (Ex 19:5)

The Lord invites us, as his bride, to take his name and remember his commandments. When I got married, I took my husband’s name. Similarly, when we call ourselves Christian, we take on the name of Christ.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. (Ex 20:7)

I used to think this commandment was about swearing. I look at it differently now.

The Bride Waits for the Bridegroom

In Jesus’s time, betrothals usually took place in the fall after the harvest. However, the actual marriage would happen up to a year later, the following fall. The bridegroom’s father determined the time for the wedding. This happened after the groom had completed preparations. He prepared to receive his bride into his father’s family.

Therefore, even the groom did not know the day or the hour.

But of that day and that hour knoweth no man. No, not the angels which are in heaven. Neither the Son knows, but only the Father. (Mark 13:32)

Jesus assured his disciples that he would prepare a place for them in his father’s house.

 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place.

 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. (John14:2-3)

The bride in ancient Israel had no idea when her groom would come. Therefore, she had to be vigilant. She always kept her oil lamps ready. We, too, must be vigilant as we wait for the coming of the Bridegroom.

 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins. They took their lamps and went forth to meet the bridegroom. (Mathew 25:1)

Thanks for reading. I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment, let us learn together.

Read part two, Jesus as the Bridegroom. Discover ancient marriage traditions. These traditions can help us better understand the Bible.

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