Betrothal of Jesus: Surprising New Perspective

I am amazed at how many scriptures speak about Jesus as the bridegroom and the betrothal of Jesus to the church.

I wanted to better understand Jesus’ teachings. Jesus often used marriage to symbolize his relationship with the church. He also used marriage to symbolize his relationship with the people of Israel. So, I started studying ancient marriage customs.

Here are some astonishing things I learned.

In ancient times, people used the same word for “Lord” and “husband.”

That was the first of many discoveries.

And I will betroth thee unto me forever. I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, judgment, loving-kindness, and mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord. (Hosea 2:19-20)

Understanding ancient marriage rituals helped me better understand my covenant with Jesus.

Does this change how you look at your relationship with the Lord?

1. Mikvah (Betrothal of Jesus Included His Baptism).

As part of the betrothal ceremony, the bride and groom underwent ritual immersion in a pool of water. This act symbolized spiritual and physical purification. It prepared them for entering the marriage covenant.

Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. (Mat 3:13)

So, the first step for Jesús’ betrothal to the church was to be baptised. (Mikvah) As a future bride, we, too, need to be baptized. The same as brides in Jesus’ day.

That gave me a new viewpoint about Baptism. For Jesus to become the Bridegroom, he had to be baptized.

What do you think?

2. The Kiddushin (Engagement)

The Kiddushin ceremony set the bride apart. She was to have eyes only for her beloved groom. The betrothal was a legal contract that could only be dissolved by death or a written divorce.  That is why Joseph was called Mary’s husband, even though she was only what we would consider engaged.

 Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately. (Mathew 1:19)

The bride’s father and the groom’s father formalized the betrothal agreement. Then, the groom would knock on the bride’s door. If the bride accepted the proposal, she would open the door. The couple would then share bread and wine. This signified their commitment to each other.

This makes me think of communion when we commit ourselves to Christ with bread and wine.

 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him. I will sup with him, and he with me. (Rev 3:20)

 3. Ketubah (The Contract)

The ketubah was a legal document signed by both the bride and bridegroom. It also required two witnesses. The bride’s family received one copy. The magistrate received another copy. They gave the bride a third copy.

The ketubah outlined the groom’s duties, typically including providing food, clothing, and shelter for his bride. It also specified his pledge to ransom his bride if an enemy captured her. The bride committed to be loyal and faithful to her bridegroom.

Because marriage was so important in ancient Israel, scribes wrote the terms of betrothal. Scribes usually wrote the ketubah inside a Jerusalem window, surrounded by beautiful artwork. Families often framed it and kept it in their homes, sometimes cherishing it as a family heirloom.

Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood, he entered once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. (Hebrews 9:12)

Even when the enemy of our souls has led us away captive, Jesus agrees to redeem us. The Bridegroom loves his bride.

4. Mohar and Mattan (Bride Price)

Jewish culture highly valued women. They paid the mohar to the bride’s father as compensation for losing his daughter. She was a cherished member of his household. The bride price might include clothing, jewelry, money, animals, or service.

Abraham’s servant gave gifts to Rebekah’s father for the Mohar (Gen 24:53). Jacob gave Rachael’s brother seven years of service for the Mahar, first for Leah and then seven more years for Rachael. (Gen 29:20).

The Mattan was a betrothal gift given directly to the bride. She often sewed coins into her headdress, like an engagement ring, to show she was married. Jesus and his audience understood the significance of the coin in this parable differently than we do.

 What woman having ten pieces of silver, if she loses one piece? Doth she not light a candle, sweep the house, and seek diligently till she finds it?

 When she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together. She says, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.   (Luke 15:8-9) 

Jesus’ betrothal to the church includes a Mattan of the gift of the Holy Ghost. If we lose this gift, we will try very hard to regain it.

5. We take on the Name of Christ

The Lord invites us, as his bride, to take his name and remember his commandments. When I married, I took my husband’s name. Similarly, when we call ourselves Christians, we take on the name of Christ.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. (Ex 20:7)

I used to think this commandment was about swearing. I look at it differently now.

Do you look at this commandment differently, too?

6. The Bride Waits for the Bridegroom

In Jesus’s time, betrothals usually took place in the fall after the harvest. However, the actual marriage would happen up to a year later, the following fall. The bridegroom’s father determined the time for the wedding. This happened after the groom had completed preparations. He prepared to receive his bride into his father’s family.

Therefore, even the groom did not know the day or the hour.

But of that day and that hour knows no man. No, not the angels which are in heaven. Neither the Son knows, but only the Father. (Mark 13:32)

Jesus assured his disciples that he would prepare a place for them in his father’s house.

 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. (John14:2-3)

The bride in ancient Israel did not know when her groom would come. Therefore, she had to be vigilant. She always kept her oil lamps ready. We, too, must be vigilant as we wait for the coming of the Bridegroom.

 Then, shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins. They took their lamps and went forth to meet the bridegroom. (Mathew 25:1)

Thanks for reading. I would love to hear your thoughts. Was our post about the betrothal of Jesus helpful to you?.

Read part two, Jesus as the Bridegroom. Discover ancient marriage traditions. These traditions can help us better understand the Bible.

Christian Searcher

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