Lasting Marriage, 2 Magic Secretes You Can Start Today

Two Eye Opening Secrets to a Lasting Marriage

John and I were married for 55 years before his death. I will be the last person to tell you that marriage is easy.

John and I were opposites. I came from a college-educated wealthy family. Neither of John’s parents graduated high school. My family was Republicans from the South. John’s family were Democrats from New Jersey.

It was not easy to put two completely different lives together. When we first married, we argued continually about words. Sometimes we were saying the same thing just using different words. It took years to agree on a single vocabulary.

And then, there were the holidays. We each celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter differently. Those first few years we did a lot of compromising. We had to create traditions that were not my families, nor his families. Celebrations that would become traditions of our family.

I remember, our first Thanksgiving, we couldn’t agree on the stuffing for the turkey. So, we went to cookbooks and created our own stuffing, using ingredients we both enjoyed. Our stuffing became a family tradition for over 50 years. Now my daughters use the same stuffing for their families and hopefully it will be passed down for generations.

First Secret to a Lasting Marriage

With so many differences, you may wonder how we created a lasting marriage. Even though our lifestyles were different, our values were the same, and we both had a great love for God.

In addition, we considered marriage a covenant not only with each other but with God. We realize most religions only covenant until death do you part. But John and I firmly believe love, marriage, and families are eternal.

To put it another way; we believe the songs. Think about it, most songwriters write about love being forever. We believe our marriage and our family will be forever.

I cannot believe a God of love would separate husbands and wives, children and parents for eternity. If he is a loving God, then we will have families in the next life.

I could not imagine living for eternity and not being with John and my family. That would not be heaven for me.

Partly because of this belief, when things became difficult, which they often did, we were determined to work it out.

Unfortunately, this vision of marriage as a holy institution has been scrapped by modern society. Many young people believe marriage is an outdated and a foolish tradition.

A lasting marriage is, in fact, a great source of real self-fulfillment. I know of no relationship which will better teach us to be patient, kind, and forgiving. All traits needed to live in Heavenly Father’s kingdom with Jesus.

Second Secret to a Lasting Marriage

A weekly date can ensure a lasting marriage

I will offer one other suggestion for those of you who are seeking to enjoy a lasting marriage. When we were newly married, someone at church suggested we have a Friday night date every week.

John took that suggestion to heart. Friday night became our date night. Often, we only had money for a babysitter. So, we would go for a drive or a walk. We might buy an ice cream cone or a soda. The main thing is we had time to talk.

When we had 5 small children, for me that once a week, adult conversation was delightful and very much needed.

The interesting thing is as we changed, (we all change) John and I grew together, not apart. I am certainly not the teenager John married. And he is no longer the Marine I married. We were able to constantly get reacquainted.

I am only talking about a small sacrifice. Maybe 2 hours a week. It seems such a simple thing. But it may become the most precious part of your marriage. It absolutely became an essential part of our marriage.

Now You Know The 2 Secretes to a Lasting Marriage

If you perceive marriage and families as eternal, you may be more willing to put in the effort and the sacrifice needed to maintain a great marriage and a terrific family.

These two concepts may change the way you think about your spouse, your children and even your parents.

If God is a God of Love, then marriage and families will be forever. And If your marriage will last forever then a few hours a week to fortify that relationship is worthwhile.

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